elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
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