I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
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