I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
This is classic penis vs brain.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
