why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
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