she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
Moan for me like Helen Keller
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
