PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
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