i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
