Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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