worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
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