Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
Randomize
