return my video game
my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Randomize