one word: firstdatebathroomanal
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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