I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
Randomize
