Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize
