You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
I think people are normalizing furries
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
Randomize