Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
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