check it out our google latitudes are spooning
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
My breath smells like gin and sadness
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