Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
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