Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Randomize
