he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
