just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
Randomize
