Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
Randomize
