He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Randomize
