woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Randomize
