have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Randomize