You smell like stripper and shame
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
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