white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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