And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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