I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
try to milk me bitch
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