So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
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