it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize