real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Randomize
