Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
Randomize
