now i know why i became what i already was.
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Randomize
