So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
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