also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Randomize
