Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
