he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize
