Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
im about as happy as oj after his trial
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
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