She's JV to your varsity
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
Randomize
