lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
There's a woman at Starbucks that keeps pushing her stroller into me.
Punch her baby.
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize
