this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
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