He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
Randomize
