let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
Randomize
