Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
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