i just had sex bonerless
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
Randomize
