if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
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