Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
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