It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
