just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
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