help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
I AM VODKA MAN
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Randomize
