They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
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