why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
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