Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
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