now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
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