my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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