i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
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