wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
I'm too high and old for this...
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
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