im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
