We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
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