How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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