u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize