like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
