im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
The Olympian is in my bed
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Randomize