so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize
