420 ftw
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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