You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
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