No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
Randomize
