Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Dear god my vagina.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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