Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
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