Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
