My friends, they love my intelligence
my sisters under your porch take her home
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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