if i died would you start the facebook group?
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
Randomize
