Sponge bath it is.
Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
I'm getting married
To pizza
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Randomize