Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Randomize
